How to Pretend It’s Way Warmer Out Than It Is

How To Pretend It’s Way Warmer Out Than It Is

So NYC is experiencing Arctic chills today. I find it best when it is really cold out to pretend that it isn’t the case. I mean, it’s much better than starting to read into what it means if the temperatures keep dropping – the end of the world and all that jazz. So denial even when outside and freezing is key to survival. How does one convince themselves, that hey, it’s really not so cold out? Here’s my guide:

1. Wear bright colors. Sure, those brightly color items may be in the form of heavy stockings, giant sweaters, and a scarf/glove/hat combo, but what says warm weather more than bright colors? Neon colors have an especially warming effect. This is why I own things such as Smurf blue stockings, neon pink stockings, mustard yellow stockings, oh man I really like stockings.
2. Notice the sun. Just don’t stare into it directly. I don’ t want to be the cause of anyone going blind. By acknowledging the sun on the days it deems to grace us with its present, it’s like saying, I know there is a light at the end of this cold tundra tunnel. One day you’ll get your act together and warm us.
3. Plan trips to tropical locations. Who cares if you will never actually book this trip? Plan it anyway. Spend time looking at the best beaches in February and planning what you’d wear on such an excursion. I can’t be the only one to plan fantasy trips.  When you have your shopping cart full of those new beach worthy clothes for your imaginary getaway, just be sure not to actually buy the goodies. Unless, you are actually going on this trip after all. Then buy away.
4. Remember how much you actually hate really hot weather. In the throes of a cold spell, you may think that you really wish it was 95 degrees out. But let’s think about what that would mean, at least in NYC. You would still have to wear your work clothes. You would still have to ride the subway to work in said clothes. The subway would be incased in that miserable humidity and full of its signature BO scent. Your clothes would stick to you, your hair would be a mess. You would wish to never experience 95 degree heat again. Aren’t you glad that’s not today?
5. Play the “At least I don’t live there game.” This is my favorite way to pretend it’s really not so cold out. Look up the weather where you live.

NYC Monday

20°F | 17°F

Then look up the weather someplace where it’s likely to be colder. I like to look up Ithaca, NY since I spent the past 3 winters living in its always freezing grasp.

Ithaca, NY Monday

13°F | 11°F

Well, I feel better already. When I lived in Ithaca, I had to be a little more desperate with the places I would compare temperatures. But there was always somewhere.

Okay, I am sure there is somewhere colder than Ithaca right now. But, I cannot find it. Greenland, Iceland, and Russia are all warmer. I am going to reneg my earlier statement of denial- the world is ending.

What do you do to beat the cold weather blues?